• Only approach the front counter to order when you are on your cell phone.  It is also customary to not know what you want when you do so.

• Listening to the cashier is completely optional.  She just likes hearing herself talk.  

• Children are encouraged to play with pens, cookies, candies, and whatever else they can find on the front counter.  The high-chairs are great for racing and we suggest making a track around the large center table.

• Pizza plates make great drums if you use the proper drum stick.  If it ‘s a birthday please drum and sing loud enough so everyone can join in on the fun.  

• Be sure to stare at the Pizza Guy while you are waiting for your pizza.  Starring makes him work faster.

• Never remember your ticket number.  Heck, it’s even ok if you forget your name.  We are all psychics here!

• When calling in your To-Go order, always arrive to pick them up within 10 minutes.  It is OK to hurry us.  If we make a mistake, it won’t kill you or anything.  It is strongly encouraged to call your order  in while looking for parking.

• Always ask the Pizza Guy if that’s your pizza when you see it because you’re probably the only person in here to order an Alice.  

• Be sure to complain about how long your pizza took.  The Pizza Guy makes them on a whim and often slows down just to tick you off.

• Busing your table is completely optional.  We actually prefer you don’t as we all have OCD and are compulsive cleaners.

• Once you have ordered and found a seat call a bunch of friends to join you.  We find sitting on top of one another quite cozy.

and, last but not least

• Make a night of it!  Drink more!  Have fun!  Those people forming a long line to be seated are extremely patient.